Tom and Jerry: Cowboy Up!/Transcript

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[laughing hysterically] [groans] [adventurous Western music playing] [bell tolling] [Duke] Well, sir, I reckon we got us a fine town here. A fine town! Friendly, peaceful-like. Good folks, just going about their lives doing the best they can. Yep, wide open spaces where you can dig a nice deep burrow for your family to live in. Plenty of tumbleweeds and insects to feed your babies. But there is a danger that threatens our very way of life. [screams] [horse neighs] [screams] [cowboy in muffled tone] I... hate... prairie dogs. What's all the commotion, Duke? Caught us a predator, Ma! Get his stuff! [all yelling] Yay! ["Six Feet Under" playing] Welcome to this Western town There's more to see if you're looking down Just beneath the surface while you wait Beneath that land so serene Is a Wild West seldom seen Where prairie dogs in numbers congregate Just step right up to the old dirt mound And hop on down to the underground A tunnel's-length away is where we're set When you break on through to the other side It's a Broadway Baby where the streets are wide It's a visit you're not likely to forget Six feet under It's a world of wonder We don't mean Boot Hill where the cowboys rest Down here ain't no steer or horse Just us prairie dogs, of course We're the best durned town in all the West! There's a one-room school and a big hotel An undertaker and a wishing well A general store that's right there on the street So drop on down to our new town hall There might be a wedding or even a brawl! Our hospitality just can't be b*at Up above we take care We're gonna hide if we see you stare Down here we whoop it up to b*at the band There's music here and fun and vittles Where youngs and olds and bigs and litties Do the best durned line dance in the land Let's slow this down We're getting ahead Up above where the light is shed There's a cat and a mouse who always make us smile So attend this tale as we wait below We know you'll enjoy this great big show Sit back, honey, kick off your boots and stay awhile Six feet under It's a world of wonder We don't mean Boot Hill where the cowboys rest Down here ain't no steer or horse Just us prairie dogs, of course We're the best durned town in all the West Way down yonder On any scale it's a whale of a tale Don't take no time to ponder Bet your dollar It's a hoot and a holler We're the best durned town in all the West We're the best In the West - We best begin - So let's dig in [cattle mooing] [mooing] [snoring] [yawns] [mooing] [screams] [whistling] [screams] Aye, not the corral again! Always something around here that's falling off or caving in or got broke or won't work or... [sighs] Aye, cut it out, you two. Let's get some breakfast. Morning, Bumpy. Morning, everybody. Wait, where are the boys? Oh, great. Something else to fix. [kisses] You know the whole gol' durned ranch is nearly busted, Betty. Why, if I hadn't promised your grandad that I'd always be here for ya, I'd have hit the trail long ago. [Betty] And what did Gramps always tell you? [sighs] "Don't sit on that rattlesnake, Bumpy!" No. "Don't drink water from the creek, Bumpy"? Not that. Oh, you mean, "" Good times or bad times, we always look after each other.” That's right. Because we're all... [all] Family! [slurping] It's a simple task, Clem. If you can't manage it... [thud] Sorry, Mr. Critchley! How many scarecrows so far? [horse whinnies] Fifty-eight. Thank you, Diablo. Maybe I should pay Diablo to work for me instead of you, Clem. What do you think? Sorry, Mr. Critchley. I just don't get why we're planting scarecrows way out here. To scare the prairie dogs. I hate prairie dogs. But why do you want to scare 'em off a bunch of land you don't never use? [sighs] Diablo, help me out. I own land here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. I own everything. Except for this. Betty Benson's place. Yes, Betty Benson's place. I'm not going to scare prairie dogs off my land. I'm going to scare them onto her land! She'll be ruined, she'll have to sell to me. And I'll be the most powerful man in the state. [chuckles] b*at the old days of robbing banks, huh, boss? [gasps] Please! I'm a businessman now. I know. And that's why I tore this down as soon as I saw it. [wind blowing] It's the brother. Bentley. [Clem] The one who moved away? They say he went to the city and made a fortune with the railroad! [gasps] Bentley, you've come home! Hello, sis. - "Sis"? - You mean... We have a brother! Well, look at Mr. Railroad Tycoon! We knew you'd come back and save the old Double UB! Oh, well, no... How rich are you exactly? - If I could just... - Gonna buy us a new barn, I bet. - What I'm trying to... - Is this all you have brought? - I'm not... - Gee, I thought you'd have a fancier rig! Let me... You see, I... I'm not a tycoon! But, Bentley, your letters... All those business deals you told us about. And your promotions. I may have... exaggerated a few details. Just a little. [chuckles] I guess I wanted to impress you. So, you're ea yin' you're not the Chairman of the Consolidated Intercontinental Trans-American Locomotive and Rail Consortium? Not yet. But I am the Junior Regional Assistant Associate trainee. And I've got a bright future ahead of me! As what? As the Senior Regional Assistant Associate trainee. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I'm on my way up. I figure if I helped you fix up the ranch, we could sell it. Then, you and Betty can come and live in the city with me! Tell you what, Bent. You help us fix the place up. If I can't make it work, we'll sell. But if I can, we keep the ranch and split the profits. Deal? Oh, deal. If we all pull together, in a month or two, we'll be ready to drive the herd to Abilene! Uh, you want me to go on a cattle drive? Me? Ah, just a short one... miles is all. Unless you get caught in a stampede, or washed away in a flood. Come on inside, Bentley. Let's get you something to eat. Then we'll talk business. What are we waiting for, Uncle Jerry? Let's go introduce ourselves. Wait a minute. Where are the... I was saying, where... are... the little fellas! Where are the little fellas? [slurps] [chuckles] Dig in! Why thank you! Boys, where are your manners? We have guests! Rodents! [screaming] [screams] What's wrong? Did you sit on a rattlesnake? [screams] [glass breaking] Moo-so-what-eya? Musophobia. A fear of mice. Or shews. Or ferrets, hamsters, hedgehogs, squirrels, chipmunks, gerbils, muskrats... Betty! - Sorry. - Which is why I go nowhere without my trusty Tom. He's tough as they come. [screams] [laughs] [clucks] Oh, sure, I could see that plain as day. Hmm, and I can see that my first task is to rid the ranch of this horrible mouse infestation. "Mouse infestation"? You mean that? In there? [chuckles] You can stop worrying, Betty. City cats fight giant rats just for fun! Once Tom's on the job, your little mice don't stand a chance. [clucking] [thudding] [snoring] [evil laugh] [Tuffy] That smell? It's... [Scruffy] Very familiar, isn't it? [Duffy] Let me think. Oh, I know. [all at once] Breakfast! - Yah! - [horse whinnies] [chickens cluck] [all laughing] [panting] [chickens clucking] Don't worry, he's perfectly tame! [bellows] Maybe not that tame. Show him who's boss! Uh, reward him with a treat! Hit him with a rolled up newspaper! [Duffy] Dress him up in a darling little outfit! [Tom screams] [Tuffy] It's nice to see them playing together. [all] Aw! This might be a good time to address the commonly held belief that bulls hate the color red. Actually, they're indifferent to colors. That's certainly news to me. No, bulls don't hate red capes. They hate moving capes. Why is he thanking us? He's just a little over-excited. How many fingers do I have up? What day is it today? I don't think he understands about us. Let me explain. You came here with Bentley. We live here with Betty! Betty is Bentley's sister. So that means that... You are our brother! Who's president of the United States? What's your mother's maiden name? Uh... get some ice on that! I'm your brother, Tuffy. This is your brother, Scruffy. Your brother, Duffy. And this is Uncle Jerry. And from now on, we're the guys who are gonna make you look like a hero in front of Bentley! You're going to be the best mouse hunter in the West! - Cunning! - Ruthless! Well-behaved! We're all gonna pretend, see? [meows] [all laughing] We're gonna make it look like you solved [imitating Bentley] the "horrible mouse infestation." And you are going to make sure your brothers stay safe. Got it? [Jerry skidding halt] ["Cowboy Up" playing] Lots of fetters out there, they want to be cowboys From the Pecos on up to Illinois Have to dust off all that city Get to the nitty gritty So all you little pups Cowboy up! - You gotta cowboy up - Yee haw! - Do what the cowboys do - Yippee yi yo - You need a big hat - Whoop whoo - And a good horse too - Giddy up, giddy up - You gotta ride that trail - Yippee yi yippee yay - You gotta buck that bail - Yippee yi yippee yay You gotta cowboy up Gotta cowboy, gotta cowboy! [all laughing] Now don't forget your saddle and matches for the campfire Some beans and bacon And a rope are all required A tin you need to pan for gold A bed that you can fold Some saddle bags a dusty rag A deck of cards a pound of lard Some silver spurs [all laughing] Whoa! Hold on there, little doggies. Now, where was I? - You gotta cowboy up - Yee haw! - Like the cowboys do - Yippee yi yo - You need a big belt buckle - Whoop whoo - And spurs to boot - Giddy up, giddy up - You gotta wear them boots - Yippee yi yo - Need a g*n that sh**t - Yippee yi yo - You gotta look that part - Whoop whoo You gotta cowboy up Come on now! [music continues] We've saved the ranch Mended the fence Plowed the fields Used good horse sense So here's to John Wayne and Gary Cooper And to the cowboys of the future So take your guitar and strum them strings 'Cause this is what the cowboy sings - You gotta cowboy up - Yee haw! - Like the cowboys do - Yippee yi yo - You need a big bandana - Whoop whoo And a gold spittoon - You gotta rope that steer - Yippee yi yippee yay - You gotta have no fear - Yippee yi yippee yay The work don't stop You gotta cowboy up - You gotta rope that steer - Yippee yi yippee yay - You gotta have no fear - Yippee yi yippee yay The work don't stop Back down in that hole, boys. You gotta cowboy up - Howdy, Loretta. - Howdy, Duke. [babbling] Well, will you listen to that. [continues babbling] Oh, it's just baby talk. [chuckles] Oh, you mark my words. That little feller's gonna be yippin' in no time. Well, how bad is it? Bad, Duke. And I've planned prairie dog towns all over the West. We've got predators threatening from the North, the East, and the South. [intense music playing] [panicking] Look at 'em, out there. Horrible things. I spied one once before, in a cornfield in Kansas. Oh, uh, me too. Seen one amongst some string beans near the city of Ogallala. Oh, I've seen 'em too. - But this is different. - How's that, Jane? - They're organized. - Sheriff, I reckon you're the wisest, bravest, most cool-headed of us all. What do you think we ought to do? Big Tim, George, Zeb! You three run out there and see what they want. Go! [all] Us? What about you? [sighs] Okay, I'm going to be honest with you. It don't look good. Sheriff's run off. And there's something going on that I don't understand. But what I do know is this... We're prairie dogs. And prairie dogs look out for each other. Ain't that so? [all] Yip. Yip. That's right, Duke. Every one of you here's got a family. And those families, they need mounds, holes and burrows to live in and stay safe. Zeb, how many you got in your family now? Well, golly, let me think. Well, there's Mom, Dad, Granny, of course. Karen and Mike and their kids. So, uh, let's see... [murmuring incoherently] Oh, , . And more due in April. And not all of us has got a small family like Zeb. We need room for our great town to grow. - What's your plan, Duke? - My plan? If we can't go that way, then we go that way. [inspiring music playing] You heard Duke. Those tunnels aren't gonna dig themselves, boys. [excitedly] Let's burrow. [sighs contentedly] You don't get sunsets like this back in the city. Uh, nope. I kind of forgot how beautiful they are. Just think, Bentley. A month ago, you were ready to sell this place. Well, a month ago, I never would've believed the Double UB could look this good again. Almost like back when we were kids. With Gramps. Ooh, your Grandpa loved this ranch. He got offers on it over the years, you know. Always turned them down, though. Said it was meant for you two. A place for you two raise your own families. [mellow music playing] [fireflies buzzing] [mellow music continues] [thud] [pleasant music playing] [thud] [music intensifies] Tom! [music increases in tempo] [whistles] [shrieks] [thud] [smacks hard] [slams hard] [creaking] [comical music playing] Will you look at that. - That reminds me of the fireworks! - The fireworks! - [Bentley] Every holiday. - [Betty] Every birthday. And don't forget cattle drives, starting and finishing. Gramps always set off fireworks and fired the cannon to celebrate. "Gotta get things started with a bang," he always said. Let's do it! [Bumpy] Hey, slow down. Slow down. Our work's not done yet. There's head of cattle over there. They're going to bring in enough money to keep the Double UB going. But we've got to get them to market first. You're right. Work now, celebrate later. Now, hold on. Didn't I just say your Grandpa set off fireworks before and after every cattle drive? Well, [chuckling] this is before, but only one. Bentley and me are gonna be up early tomorrow morning. - Uh, we are? - Yes. Before I ride with a city feller on a cattle drive, I wanna make good and sure he knows his way around a horse. [hissing] - [thud] - [screams] [hissing continues] [firecrackers bursting] [bursting continues] - [trembling] - [snorting impatiently] [neighs loudly] [thud] This one's called Stomper. He's going to be your horse. [snorts unhappily] [thud] - Stomper? - Yes, sir. We got ourselves a long ride to Abilene. And I wanna make sure you've got a horse that won't give any trouble. - But... Stomper? - Give him a carrot. He loves carrots. [fakes loud biting sound] Oh, what about that one? Clementine? Hah! Uh, no, you don't want to ride Clementine. I do. I do want to ride Clementine. [hesitates] Look here, son. I... No more talking about it. I've made my decision. [mellow music playing] Sure you still remember how to ride, city boy? If you want, I can still get Stomper for you. Oh, go ahead, you two. Joke all you want. But Clementine and me are gonna get along just fine. Well, then, I've got one piece of advice. Whatever you do... Come on, girl. [angry neighing] Don't call her "girl." [Bentley screaming] Don't let go, Bentley. Oh, you think? [neighing] [loud crunch] You try to be helpful, but some folks just don't want to listen. [Bentley screaming] Once that cat gets hold of something, he does not let go. [rumbling] Sound the alarm. [all] Yip. Yip. Yip. [skids halt] [neighs] [thud] Bentley, are you all right? - Is Tom all right? - Yes. Yes. I was just, uh, testing my finally-honed equestrian k*ll to, um, see what the horse had in her. We're... we're fine, right, Tom? Lovely ride. [chuckles nervously] [suspenseful music playing] [Bentley gasps] Rodents! Mice, Tom. Mice. And all this time, I thought you had the problem under control. But, no. While you slept, they invaded. Dangerous packs of mice, digging holes, living right beneath our feet. I'm telling you, Bent, those weren't mice. They were just some prairie dogs, is all. Oh, Bentley's afraid of those too. Also rats, shrews, ferrets, hamsters, hedgehogs, squirrels, - chipmunks, gerbils, muskrats... - Betty! Sorry, I always do that. Come on, boys. We're gonna get to the bottom of this. Hello? Hello? Hello? [voice] Yip? [all shrieking] - Yip. - [voice] Yip. Yip Yip. [swishing] [intense music playing] [suspenseful music playing] Shout if you need help, Uncle Jerry. Whoa. Uh-oh. We've got to get him out of there. - Uncle Jerry? - Follow the sound of my voice. Oh, when this is over, we're gonna do better, Uncle Jerry. Yeah. No more sleeping in. We'll be up before sunrise. We'll do all the chores. We're going to make something of ourselves. [Jerry laughing] [all] Uncle Jerry, you're okay. Bentley, is this really necessary? Hah! You weren't down in that pit, Betty. You didn't see those creatures. - I'm sure it was very unpleasant, but... - They have glowing red eyes. Teeth like razors. Don't you think you're overreacting? Just a little? A teensy-weensy bit? Overreacting, huh? [chuckles sarcastically] I've read firsthand accounts of settlers who were attacked by crazed grizzly bears. Pursued by wolves across frozen lakes. Hunted down by wildcats. - This was worse. - Of course. Why would I ever think you were overreacting? I was lucky to survive it. That's all I'm saying. I'll ask Bumpy to ride into town tomorrow and have the newspaper run this in their next edition. [b*at music playing] What the... I'm here to see the boss. [snorts in disagreement] Well, no, I don't have an appointment. Hah! Think you're pretty smart, don't you? [thumping] Two plus two equals four. Big deal. [thumping] Three plus nine? Easy, . [impatient thumping] [Clem] Wait, times ? Uh... Okay. Hold on, now. Don't tell me. I was gonna say , if you'd ever give me a chance. [door slams] Stupid horse. What is it, Clem? The Bensons' hired hand dropped this off at the newspaper office this morning, boss. - [grunts] - It's an advertisement. Yes, Clem, I can see that. Look, would you mind standing a little... Sure, boss. Maybe just a little... One more. Just a little farther. Almost. Keep going. Keep going. Nearly there. [Clem] How's this, boss? Perfect. Now, about this advertisement. "Motivated, aggressive cats wanted for immediate work at the Benson Ranch. Must hate mice. Direct inquiries to Bentley Benson." You know what this means? - Clem! - [Clem] Oh, sorry, boss. No. What does it mean? It means my scheme to drive those prairie dogs onto the Benson property worked. [Clem] Nobody grabs land unscrupulously better than you, Mr. Critchley. "Unscrupulous" oughta be your middle name. It's nice of you to say that, Clem. You may come back in now. - What's our plan? - Plan? We deliver the final blow. I want you to go to the Benson place, find the deed to the ranch and destroy it. I'll produce this phony deed, claim that the land is mine, and have Betty Benson and her brother kicked off it for good. With all due respect, Mr. Critchley, there's no way those folks are gonna let me anywheres near their place. Oh, they will. In fact, they'll welcome you with open arms. Now, I want you to round up the meanest, nastiest, most mouse-hating cats you can find. I heard, you have a rodent infestation problem. [suspicious tune plays] No rodent escapes the terrible fate these here cats deliver. [suspenseful music playing] [Tom gulps] This one here is Butch. Here's the brains of the outfit. [thud] Uh, no, wait. This ones the brains. Meathead. [buzzing] [exclaims blankly] Wait. Maybe none of 'em is the brains. Hold on. Okay. Yeah. This one's Lightnin', because he's faster than lightning. I think, % sure. Don't quote me on it, though. You get the idea. Butch, Lightnin', Meathead and Shorty. They're gonna take care of your mouse problem. They weren't mice. They were just some little prairie dogs, is all. [both shuddering] I hate prairie dogs. [shuffling] [western tune plays] So, Butch and Meathead. [chuckling] Yeah. They look tough, all right. They are. They used to hunt, uh, b... buffaloes. Yeah, full-sized buffaloes, out on the plains. Oh, you don't say. Here we go. And... and Lightnin'? You said he's quick? Is he quick? Watch. Lightnin', get the mouse. Huh! Did you see that? He got one already. Where? Oh, he left it out on the field, so it wouldn't upset the lady. Aww, and you must be Shorty. - [loud crunch] - [Tom screams in pain] Bentley, please. This is too much. - My sister is right. - [thud] You don't get as far as I have in the cut-throat world of the railroads without developing a keen eye for people. And I can tell you're a trustworthy sort, Mr., uh... - What did you say your name was? - Me? My name, uh, is, uh... Sunflower. Mule... y... toad. Sunflower Muleytoad. It's Dutch. And Scottish. Well, then, Sunflower, you're a trustworthy man, I can see that. But I need to know that your cats can do this job. So, I've set up a little test. Here's how it works. I will set loose these mice. [whirring] Mr. Muleytoad's cats will pursue them around the obstacles. If any mouse is able to reach the cheese, then I'm afraid, there's no deal. Fair enough. On your marks. Get set! Go! [whirring] Butch, Meathead. Go get 'em. [intense music playing] - [foghorn] - [thuds] [intense music continues] [whirring continues] - [filing] - Shorty, you're up. [swishes] [intense music playing] [music increases in tempo] [b*at music playing] [punches landing] Wow. Did you see that? These cats are the real thing. It's not over yet, Bentley. Look. Lightnin', let's finish this. [bones crack] [bouncing] [dramatic music playing] You're hired. You can bunk out in the barn and start tomorrow. [romantic music playing] [dramatic music playing] [groans] [thud] [whimsical music playing] [praying indistinctly] [joyful music playing] [door creaks] [rustling] [whistling] [thumping] [laughs] They should have never fooled with us. Right, uncle Jerry? [Clem] Got you. There's your culprits, Mr. Benson. Oh, they look vicious. Oh, they are. Probably rabid too. Really? Bentley, they're just mice. Harmless mice. Begging your pardon, ma'am, but I've seen so-called "harmless critters" just like these here, lay whole towns to waste. Ever heard of the bustling metropolis of Grand Mesa, Oklahoma? - No, I can't say that I have. - My point exactly. Well, then, thank goodness you showed up here to help us out. Tell me what we owe you and you can be on your way. Oh, I can't take your money, because the job ain't done. - It's not? - No, sir. For every mouse you see, there's two or three thousand more hiding all around you. That's where they got the expression, "the tip of the miceberg." Me and the cats, we got lots more work to do here. Hmm. We'll be on the trail for weeks, getting the cattle dabbling, Betty. We could have Sunflower stay here and keep an eye on the ranch while we're gone. Who? Oh, I mean, sure. I'm your man. I'll go take care of these ones. Uh, what do you mean, "take care of them"? Absolutely not! What came over you in the city, Bentley? Don't you remember what Gramps always told us? Out here, there's room enough for everyone to find a home. I'll take them far away from the ranch. But we're letting them go. I packed up a few things. Your tools, some clothes, and biscuits, of course. I'm so sorry, boys. My brother... Well, he'll come around. I know it. In the meantime, just stay close and stay safe. If you get into trouble, you make for one of them prairie dog holes. Ain't no place safer. We'll get you back home. I promise. I'd sing you all some cowboy songs if I had a guitar, and I knew how to play. - Or sing. - What cowboy songs do you know? Okay, if I knew any cowboy songs, then I would sing them. You know, it's almost as entertaining, just hearing you explain. [howling] [barking] [gasps] What was that? [eerie music playing] [growling] [barks] [mice screaming] [yelling] Run! [Tuffy] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We're perfectly safe. There's no way that thing can hurt us, with that cage on his head. You're right. Look at you. You're feeling pretty embarrassed right now, aren't ya? [straining] [chuckles] [all screaming] [growls and barks] [screaming] [rumbling] Settle down, everybody. Settle down. After many hours of studying the mysterious object before you, we have discovered... it is food! [slurps] Mm. It's got a metallic flavor to it. Most likely it's an acquired taste. That... The food is on the inside. By golly, where's your common sense? The problem is, how do we open the durned thing? Let Big Tim do it. [indistinct chatter] [thudding] [chewing rapidly] [all gasping] [all gasping] Intruders! Who are you? What are you doing down here? [triumphant music playing] It's... good! Oh, thank you. Thank you. This here's my wife, and this is my daughter. Well, hello! - [giggles] - [Duke] Hey, y'all! Is everybody having a good time? [chattering] Yip, yip, yip... Well, we got these fellers to thank for that. [chuckles] Now, let's talk about our town, the place we call home. It's always been a peaceful place, but lately, we've been missing something... A proper sheriff. Well, tonight, I think we found one! - I call for a vote! - I second the motion. All right, then. All those in favor of making this here friend of the prairie dog community our new sheriff, say yeah! [all cheering] Yip! Yip! Opposed? Yip. The "yips" have it. We got ourselves a new sheriff! Welcome to your new home. ["You're Movin' In With Us" playing] Hey there, friend Won't you come in? Don't you know I like your style? You're family now Welcome to our underground To our underground Take off your boots Make yourself at home Our house is your house too What's mine is yours And now we open up our doors Pack up your bags Don't make a fuss Follow us down here You're moving in with us You're moving in with us Walked into town Straight out of the blue Welcome to the team We're glad we found friends like you We got a lotta work to do [all laughing] Pack up your bags Don't make a fuss And follow us down here Your moving in with us Your moving in with us We'll get new curtains A new chandelier Won't take no time It's a new frontier Your search has ended Come stake your claim It's ranch house envy Calling your name So grab your duds No time to squander It's cozy darn tootin' A way down yonder One short step from up above Warm hearts and hands You'll feel the love Home, home on the range Where the mice and the prairie dogs play So pack up your bags Don't make a fuss And join the family here You're moving in with us You're moving in with us [all cheering] I feel good knowing that while we're on the cattle drive, we're leaving the Double UB under the watchful eye of Mr. Muleytoad. Who? Oh, yes, sir. You folks go sell your cattle. I promise, when you get back, you won't have a ranch to worry about no more. Pardon me? That is, you won't have to worry about the ranch no more. Well, then, we've got a long, rough trail ahead of us. But I reckon we're about as ready as we'll ever be. Let's get these critters to Abilene! [all cheering] [adventurous music playing] [music stops] Did anybody let the cows out of the corral? Ah. Wait here. [triumphant music playing] Well, that was weird. Let's find that deed. Hold on, everybody. Tom found it. This is a letter from great aunt Millie. This is a shopping list. Bill for lumber, bills, letter from Uncle Steve... That's enough! Boys, throw him out! [meowing] [punches landing] Gotcha! [screams] Ow! [thudding] [Clem groans] Oh! No deed. I can't understand it. Not like a jackalope came in here and took it or something. Don't tell me. You never heard of a jackalope? No one knows where it came from, and few who've seen it have lived to tell the tale. It takes the form of a jackrabbit. This tall, with antelope horns and rattlesnake teeth. And they say that on nights like these, when the moon is full, the jackalope appears, moving across the prairie with a single purpose, to hunt down its favorite prey... Cats! [all screech] [laughs] [howling] [hooting] [screeching] [screams] [thumps] It's a harmless prairie chicken, I tell you. Look! - Here's his beak. - Now, son, that ain't a beak. It's fangs. This fella's a sidewinder. Whoever heard of a snake with arms? Well, whoever heard of a chicken with teeth? Pa, Curly, stop your bickering. The sheriff will know what to do with him. Good thinking, hon. [rumbling] Sheriff, we got something here you and the deputies ought to see. It's a sidewinder. It's a prairie chicken. [all] It's our brother! Why aren't you back at the ranch? Are Betty and Bentley with you? What happened? Muleytoad's up to something bad, Uncle Jerry. Oh, yeah. Just wait till Betty and Bentley and Bumpy get back. Then he'll be sorry. That'll be too late. Our family needs us now! But what can we do? Those cats are stronger than us. Faster than us. Meaner than us. [thud] We need a plan. [laughing] There you are. She's a-looking for you, you know. Who is, old timer? Well, old Sally and me, we was diggin' over yonder that way. And I says to Sally, "Sally, maybe we should ought to dig over that way and see what we find there." [laughing] Yeah, course, when I was a young man, I didn't dig so much as I do now. Back then, yeah, me and my wife, Ethel, we had us a little burrow outside of it. Wait. Who is? - Who's what? - Looking for us. She is. [laughs] [kissing] [whispers] [whispers] Boys, I think we just got our plan. [thunder rumbling] Hmm. It's almost right. - The ears aren't long enough. - Need sharper teeth. More antlers, I'm telling you. More antlers. [thunderclap] Ah. Not bad. [Critchley] One piece of paper, Clem. That's all you had to do. Find one piece of paper! Yeah, but the deed just ain't there, boss. Maybe you should just, you know... Uh... Pardon me? - Nothing. - No, Clem. Tell me. Maybe I should just... Uh... Buy the ranch from them. - [thunderclap] - Buy it? Buy it? I tried to buy it from their grandfather. He turned down every offer. He said no amount of money was enough. Do you know why? He said it was their... home. He turned down money. What kind of a man does that? Now get back out there - and find that deed! - [thunder rumbling] [thunderclap] [screeching] [screams] There's something strange going on here. Who would have guessed that a cat dressed as a jackalope wouldn't work? It was just one battle. We'll figure out a way. Uncle Jerry's right. We need reinforcements. Well, if we didn't have those predators to deal with... We'd be right there with you. [whispering] Boys, we've got work to do. Oh, Betty and Bentley are gonna be pretty surprised when they get home. [Bumpy] Ah! Did anybody remember to get our money for the carro? Wait here. I'll be right back. Okay, then, let's go home. I tried. I really did. You know that, right? But the boss don't care about that, or about me, or you. All he cares about is more land. More, more, more! You guys are the best. Really. I know I don't say it near enough, but you are. You know what? I'm going to make us a nice dinner. [all slurp] Where did those recipes get to? Let me see. "Biscuits, biscuits, another biscuits." I've never seen so many biscuit recipes. "Rhubarb pie, meat loaf, deed to the ranch, pineapple jardiniere..." [gasps] Deed to the ranch! - [prairie dog] Yip. - Nice work. Next. - Yip. - That's right. Nothing to be afraid of. Next. - Yip. - So, they're not predators? Nope. They use him to scare off crows. Of course, they do. Those things are terrifying. That's what we're counting on. What is it now? Hah! It's scarecrows. The boss and I put 'em out there to scare the prairie dog... Wait a second. I could have sworn... Number three and number , move! Numbers two, five, , and , move! We just need to stay calm. There's no way they can get us in here. We're under attack! Predators! They got Frank! [scoffs] I owe you. They don't know what hit 'em. You did it. The ranch is saved. Retreat! Retreat! [bees buzzing] [boom] [popping, whistling] Wait! The deed! Take that, you varmint! - Whoo-hoo! We showed 'em! - [chuckles] We sure did. Sunflower Muleytoad. Did anyone else think that was an odd name? Well, on the bright side, you made a good profit on your carro. Things could be a lot worse. We can bunk out in the barn for a while, hire a few hands to help us rebuild the house, we'll be on our feet in no time. You know, Betty, being out here with you and Bumpy, fixing up the old place, thinking about Gramps, it reminded me of something that I almost forgot. That "good times or bad times, we always look out for each other"? Because we're all family. No. It reminded me why I left for the city in the first place. - What? - Oh, nothing. You were saying? [sighs] This morning, I realized I'm no rancher, I'm a railroad man, through and through. The steel rails, the clackety-clack of the, uh... Wheels? No, no, the other... The... Oh, you know... Ah, whatever. It's my destiny. Okay. Come on, Tom. We have to pack. We're leaving in the morning. Please, Bent, don't leave. The Double UB should sell for a good price once you clean things up, sis. You can even keep the money. I don't want the money. I want you to stay. We need you here. Ah, you and Bumpy can manage. Soon as you're ready, come to the city. I'll have a room waiting for you. Now, what? There they are, Marshal. I want them arrested immediately - Arrested? For what? - Squatting on my land. It seems Mr. Critchley here has a deed that says he owns this ranch. Here it is, all legal and proper. Critchley, you know darn well this is the Bensons' land. You tried to buy it enough times from their grandad. Is that true, August? Poor man was convinced he owned the entire state. I offered a small sum to help relocate. Charity, really. - That's a lie! - You skunk, you rattlesnake! All right, everybody quiet! [exhales] Now, apologies, ma'am. Probably just a little misunderstanding. [Diablo snorts] Well put, Diablo. I said, quiet. Now, Ms. Benson, if you could just show me your deed, Mr. Critchley and I will be on our way. But there was a fire last night. Everything is gone. So, you have no deed. They're trespassing, Marshal. Take them away. - This is bad. - [snaps fingers] I have an idea. We'll need a wheelbarrow, a cannon, , prairie dogs, one bull, barbed wire, scarecrows, a thingamabobber... Marshal, please, you're making a mistake. I don't like it either, but I've got no choice. The law is the law. - Critchley, I oughta... - Did you hear that? He's threatening me. Ma'am, I am sorry, but unless you have evidence to the contrary, I have to accept Mr. Critchley's claim. [man] What's going on here, Marshal? Bentley, I thought you were going home. This is my home. [kisses] Need some help, Sheriff? Yippee yi yip! The Prairie Dog Express rides again! I'm going to build a whole town here. Critchleyville. No, no. Critchopolis. What about your dreams, Bentley? You wanted to be a railroad tycoon. I was a railroad tycoon. A Junior Regional Assistant Associate trainee railroad tycoon. But it never made me as happy as I've been back here on the Double UB with my family. Good to have you back, son. If you could just give us a few days, Marshal, I'm sure we can straighten this out. The law is the law, Mr. Benson. And I've got to escort you off the property right now. Yippee yi yip, my friend. - [whimpers] - Say what? [continues whimpering] - Bentley, what's wrong? - You should tie him up, Marshal. [exclaims] Mr. Benson, is something the matter with you? No, I just thought you might be interested in this. "Wanted for bank robbery and forgery." August Critchley. - Forgery? - Let me see that. Aha! The signature on this deed says "Lloyd Benson." But Granddad's name wasn't Lloyd Benson. It was Boyd Benson. What? They're lying, Marshal. I should know. I signed that deed myself. - Oops. - Got ya. You're under arrest, Critchley. You got anything to say? Just this. [clears throat] Ride, Diablo, ride! Ha, I told you. Once that cat gets hold of something, he does not let go. [kisses] Gramps would be so proud. It's going to be tough going for a while, even with the reward money. I know. But this is home. Hey, let me get that for you, boys. [slurps] [sighs] Going to have to rebuild the house over that way. This is all dug up under here. I think you're right. I don't know. It looks pretty solid to... Prairie dogs. Gold! [engine chugging, horn blowing].